The Miss Neo Pageant: Meet Miss Crispy
Name: Leah Rose Urzendowski Courser (try putting THAT on a change of address form)
Hometown: South Omaha, NE (the south part is very very important. If you’d been to my ‘hood, you would know that)
Age: Right now? 30. Later on? 31.
Education: BFA sizzle sizzle
Platform Issue: Crispiness
Talent: Getting Crispy
Career Ambition: Ballerina and Badass and Thank you note giver
Local Competition Sponsor: The Neo-Futurist Snack Bar
The Miss Neo Pageant Personal Interview
Q: How do you measure success?
Success is measured in happiness. Are you happy? Then you are successful.
Q: When is the last time you failed? How did you handle it?
I fail about every 10 minutes. The response is as follows: 1. Get mad 2. Get REALLY mad 3. Cry 4. Look at myself in the mirror when I cry 5. Laugh 6. Text someone something really witty 7. Feel really smart about witty text 8. Eat some peanut butter. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Q: What do you see when you look in the mirror?
A female version of my little brother John. Aaaaaand my huge fucking muscles……whaaaaaaaat?
Q: How are you different from the other contestants?
I have a dog.
Q: Why do you want to win this pageant?
See questions 1-4.