The Miss Neo Pageant: Meet Mr. Sirmaam
Name: Malic Christopher/Christine White
Hometown: Schererville, IN
Education: B.A. in Gender Studies and Creative Writing
Platform Issue: Smashing the gender binary.
Talent: Passing as a twelve-year-old-boy
Career Ambition: Werewolf
Local Competition Sponsor: The neighborhood dogs.
The Miss Neo Pageant Personal Interview
Q: How do you measure success?
The standard medical length of a “normal” clitoris at birth is 0-0.9cm. The standard medical length of a “normal” penis at birth is 2.5-4.5cm. I’d say success is somewhere along the 1.6 cm in between.
Q: When is the last time you failed? How did you handle it?
I tried to give myself a haircut. Then I asked my three dudely roommates to help with my haircut. Then I dug out my coupon for Supercuts.
Q: What do you see when you look in the mirror?
See Question #2.
Q: How are you different from the other contestants?
Q: Why do you want to win this pageant?
I don’t think I’m actually competing*, but a pageant seems like a good place to meet women, yeah?
*Malic White is the Assistant Director of The Miss Neo Pageant.