The Infinite Wrench – FAQ
The insidery, velvet-ropey information you need to show up at The Infinite Wrench acting like you know the score. It will make you more attractive to members of both the same and opposite sex.
Is it true that ticket prices are based on the roll of a die?
As true as it’s been for over two decades! Tickets sold at the door cost $9 plus the roll of a single six-sided die; depending on your luck you will be paying $9-15. Presale tickets (see below) cost $20 minus the roll of a six-sided die ($14-19)!
How many people can you fit in your theater?
The Neo-Futurarium seats 150 people. So don’t wig out right away if you see a long line. When the doors open, each person will receive a token of some kind (usually an amusing plastic toy or card from an old children’s game), which you’ll hand back to us when you pay your admission price. When we’ve handed out all of these tokens, we’ve sold out the show.
We hand out one token per person. We can’t give you an extra one for your friend who’s parking the car or who swore to you that they wouldn’t be late this time. If you need to go get cash or a shot of whiskey before the show starts, grab your token first and then make sure you’re back before we lock the doors again.
What time should I arrive to help my chances of getting in?
If you’re not using our pre-sale option (see below), we recommend being here by 10:45pm on Fridays, 10:30pm on Saturdays, and 6:30pm on Sundays. Coming from far away? Friday and Sunday nights tend to be less popular than Saturday, so you’re more likely to get in those nights even if you’re later than recommended.
Exception: Sunday shows before a Monday holiday, such as Labor Day, often sell out — it’s worth it to get there by 6:15pm on those nights.
What time do the doors open?
The downstairs door opens at 11pm on Friday and Saturday, and 6:30pm on Sunday. Dress for the weather! You might end up outside for 10-30 minutes, so bring coffee and snacks and it’s like tailgating, but for art!
How much money should I bring?
Bring $15 in cash. $15 is the most you can pay for one buy-at-the-door ticket into The Infinite Wrench and we don’t have any way to take your credit card except to never give it back. There are ATMs at the corner of Clark & Foster and Clark & Winona, just a block away from the theater itself.
Where do I buy my ticket?
When you walk in, you’ll walk up a flight of stairs, through a hallway full of presidential portraits, past the concessions counter, and into a large room with wooden floors and ceiling fans. This is the State Park, our lobby. Around 11:15pm, two people will stand on the stage at the back of the room and direct you to stand in two lines. You’ll be given a six-sided die to roll. Your admission price will be $9 plus the roll of that die ($10-15).
Are there reserved seats in the theater?
Seats are first-come first-served. To get the very best seats in the center section, you’ll want to stand towards the front of those ticket lines. Wiggle your way up to the front if you’re feeling aggressive and want to sit in the seat where you are most likely to get splashed with water, asked intrusive personal questions or sat on by a cast member.
Do you sell The Infinite Wrench tickets in advance?
Tickets are available online for $20 (plus service charge); when patrons arrive at the theater they will roll one six-sided die and receive $1-6 back on their admission.
Pre-sale patrons must still wait their turn to enter the theater–there is no advance entry. Buying a pre-sale ticket guarantees that you will have a seat in the theater but does not guarantee which seat, so it’s still worth it to show up by 11:15 to stand towards the front of the line in the lobby.
There are no refunds for tickets that are not claimed. Seats that are unclaimed by 11:30 pm on Fridays and Saturdays, and 7 pm on Sundays, will be released to patrons on the waiting list.
Why do pre-sale tickets cost more than the at-the-door tickets?
Our theater is built on a aesthetic of risk, chance, and spontaneity. If you’re willing to show up and stand in line outside our doors an hour before showtime, in the midst of a Chicago winter or heat wave, and with the possibility that you might not even get into the show, then the least we can do is reward you with the cheaper ticket price.
Are concessions available?
We have snacks, soda, and bottled water available; you can bring all that into the theater during the show.
Does the theater sell alcohol?
We do not allow alcohol in our theater or lobby. We can’t sell it and you can’t bring it in. The City of Chicago and its many, many inspectors feel very strongly about this. On the upside, we don’t have any drink minimum and the show is more fun when you’re sober. If at the time you are purchasing your ticket you seem too intoxicated to stand, stay awake, or keep yourself from vomiting, we reserve the right to ask you to come back another evening.
If you manage to get past us anyway, be aware that you may later be immortalized in song by one of our performers.
Is the theater air conditioned? Is there heat?
We’re pleased to tell you that the theater is both air conditioned and heated, and thanks to a campaign of generous donations from our longtime supporters and board, as of August 2013 so is our State Park!
Is the theater easily accessible to people with disabilities?
Unfortunately, our space is not easily accessible to the seriously injured and people with disabilities, but we will do everything we can to accommodate patrons who need assistance. Please contact our office at 773.878.4557 during regular business hours (11-6 pm, Mon-Fri) and let us know when you hope to attend; we can talk through arrangements.
Is the show appropriate for my child/parent/in-laws?
The Neo-Futurists operate entirely without censorship. We are not overseen by the FCC and we are not rated by any Film Board. The Infinite Wrench reserves the right to be crude, rude, buck-naked, political, confrontational, irreverent to authority, sappy about kittens and maudlin about the fate of rock-and-roll.
We have no minimum age requirement, but will remind anyone bringing kids under the age of 14 that we might scar them for life, by accident, and without remorse. If you, as a parent, can look us in the eye and say that you want your kid to love free speech and experience adult art without censorship, we will welcome you and your ragamuffin to the show.
If you are planning a birthday party for a whole bunch of kids, you’ll probably want to save yourself the lawsuit and take them somewhere else.
Have a question that wasn’t answered above? Email our Communications Manager [will @ neofuturists.org] or Artistic Directors [artistic @ neofuturists.org] and they will get back to you in a timely fashion. Have a question about a particular play you saw or heard about? Email one of the ensemble and they will either answer your question or direct you to the artist who can.
All ensemble emails are [firstname][lastinitial]@neofuturists.org (eg, to email Trevor Dawkins, email trevord @ neofuturists.org).