Bilal Dardai Once there was a biographical paragraph about Bilal Dardai. The biographical paragraph would state with confidence and clarity that its subject, the aforementioned Bilal Dardai, had joined the Neo-Futurist ensemble in July of 2004, and furthermore, Bilal was overjoyed to be a part of said ensemble. The paragraph also stated a random anecdote or two about its subject, such as the fact that Bilal is double-jointed in all ten of his fingers and was a three-time spelling bee champ in elementary school, from the second to fourth grades. There was also a second paragraph, that would smirk disdainfully at the paragraph above it, thinking to itself that offhand comments about ancient victories in contests of lexicographical prowess were irrelevant at best, torpid at worst. It would conspire to one day usurp the first paragraph and imagined the elegant, efficient manner in which it would present biographical information about Bilal Dardai. There was a third paragraph, that thought the second paragraph suffered from delusions of grandeur as a mask for a latent inferiority complex, which manifested itself in unnecessary displays of vocabulary, such as "torpid" or "lexicographical." There was a fourth paragraph that agreed with the third paragraph completely. There was a fifth paragraph that thought the fourth paragraph was a spineless suck-up. There was a sixth paragraph that couldn't have cared less about the tiresome politics among its five predecessors. There was a seventh paragraph that thought the true purpose of this web page—to offer curious fans of the Neo-Futurists a short writeup of one of its ensemble members—was being lost amid the fictional personification of paragraphs. There was an eighth paragraph, but it decided to go be a more interesting paragraph in the bio of Dina Connolly. The ninth paragraph, by default, became the eighth paragraph. The ninth paragraph wished it known that it formally protested the promotion, that it had felt quite comfortable, thank you very much, exactly where it had once been. The ninth paragraph thought the joke had gone too far. The tenth paragraph quietly added the biographical information that Bilal Dardai had lived in the Chicago area almost his entire life, that he was a proud recipient of an Illinois Arts Fellowship, that he loves movies and most music, and that he is grateful for the love and support of his friends, family, and then the first paragraph glared at the tenth paragraph, which ended the bio then and there.