Don't Get Sold-Out on a Saturday Night!

We don't sell tickets in advance to TML, and that's part of what makes it totally rad. Our show is an homage to spontaneity, a riff on randomness, a friend you thought you'd never see again showing up at your door in the middle of the night, wet from the rain and carrying a bag of warm grilled cheese sandwiches.

But sometimes you need to plan your night. And we get that. Below are the secret, VIP, velvet rope-ish, things you need to know to make sure that you and your friends will get in to see TML. And answers to our FAQs.

1. Our Theater seats 150 people. So don't wig out if you see a line. You don't have to be first in line, just one of the first 150. To make sure that happens we recommend get here at 10:45 on Fridays, 10:30pm on Saturdays, and 6:30 on Sundays (when there is rarely a line and you can walk right in). Coming from far away? Pick Friday and Sunday nights to make sure you'll get in.

2. Bring $15 Cash. $15 is the most you can pay to get into TML and we don't have any way to take your credit card except to never give it back.

3. Dress for the weather. We open our doors at 11pm. You might end up outside for 10-30 minutes depending on the night. Bring coffee and it's like tailgating, for art!

4. At 11pm we open the doors and pass out some sort of "token". Usually this is an amusing plastic object with our logo on it. We pass these out one per person as we let the line into the building. Each token represents one seat in our theater. When we pass out the last one, it means the show is sold out.

5. Upstairs in our lobby you exchange the token for a single die, roll the die and pay $10 - $15 cash to get in. Two lines form to roll the die on either side of the lobby. To get the very best seats you want to be at the front of those lines. Wiggle your way up to being close to those two doors if you are feeling aggressive and want to sit in the seat where you are most likely to get splashed with water, asked intrusive personal questions or sat on by a cast member.

6. There's No Alcohol Allowed in our theater or lobby. We can't sell it and you can't bring in. The City of Chicago and its many, many inspectors feel very strongly about this. On the upside, we don't have any drink minimum and the show is funny when you are sober.

7. We do sell vending machine type snacks, and soda, and bottle water. And you can bring all that into the theater during the show.

8. The Theater is Air Conditioned!!! But our Lobby is not. Don't worry, you aren't in the Lobby very long.

9. Our space is not easily accessible to the seriously-injured and people with disabilities. But we will do our best. If you want to know more about how to get to our second floor theater above a funeral home if you are in a cast or wheelchair call our office during the week and we will arrange it for you. #773-275-5255.

10. The Neo-Futurists operate entirely without censorship. We are not on TV, we are not rated by the Film Board. TMLMTBGB reserves the right to be crude, rude, buck-naked, political, confrontational, irreverant to authority, sappy about kittens and maudlin about the fate of rock and roll. We have no age limit, but will remind anyone bringing kids under the age of 14 that we might scar them for life, by accident, and without remorse. If you, as a parent, can look us in the eye and say that you want your kid to love free speech and experience adult art without censorship, the we will welcome you and your ragamuffin to the show. If you are planning a birthday party for a whole bunch of kids, you'll probably want to save youself the lawsuit and take them somewhere else.