The Miss Neo Pageant: Meet Miss Crispy

Name: Leah Rose Urzendowski Courser (try putting THAT on a change of address form)

Hometown: South Omaha, NE (the south part is very very important. If you’d been to my ‘hood, you would know that)

Age: Right now? 30. Later on? 31.

Education: BFA sizzle sizzle

Platform Issue: Crispiness

Talent: Getting Crispy

Career Ambition: Ballerina and Badass and Thank you note giver

Local Competition Sponsor: The Neo-Futurist Snack Bar

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 The Miss Neo Pageant Personal Interview

Q: How do you measure success?

Success is measured in happiness. Are you happy? Then you are successful.

Q: When is the last time you failed? How did you handle it?

I fail about every 10 minutes. The response is as follows: 1. Get mad  2. Get REALLY mad  3. Cry  4. Look at myself in the mirror when I cry  5. Laugh  6. Text someone something really witty  7. Feel really smart about witty text  8. Eat some peanut butter. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Q: What do you see when you look in the mirror?

A female version of my little brother John. Aaaaaand my huge fucking muscles……whaaaaaaaat?

Q: How are you different from the other contestants?

I have a dog.

Q: Why do you want to win this pageant?

See questions 1-4.

Tickets for The Miss Neo Pageant are available online. Come watch Miss Crispy get dirt in her skirt this summer. 

 

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