The Miss Neo Pageant: Meet Mr. Sirmaam

Name: Malic Christopher/Christine White

Hometown: Schererville, IN

Age: 23

Education: B.A. in Gender Studies and Creative Writing

Platform Issue: Smashing the gender binary.

Talent: Passing as a twelve-year-old-boy

Career Ambition: Werewolf

Local Competition Sponsor: The neighborhood dogs.


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The Miss Neo Pageant Personal Interview

Q: How do you measure success?

The standard medical length of a “normal” clitoris at birth is 0-0.9cm.  The standard medical length of a “normal” penis at birth is 2.5-4.5cm.  I’d say success is somewhere along the 1.6 cm in between.

Q: When is the last time you failed? How did you handle it?

I tried to give myself a haircut.  Then I asked my three dudely roommates to help with my haircut.  Then I dug out my coupon for Supercuts.

Q: What do you see when you look in the mirror?

See Question #2.

Q: How are you different from the other contestants?

Hairier legs.

Q: Why do you want to win this pageant?

I don’t think I’m actually competing*, but a pageant seems like a good place to meet women, yeah?

The Miss Neo Pageant must close June 22nd! Get your tickets asap because – we promise – you don’t want to miss this.

*Malic White is the Assistant Director of The Miss Neo Pageant.

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