You are eating a Veggie Burger. It is made out of Beans and Beets. It’s the best veggie burger you have ever eaten. You say that with confidence. Not because it is true. But because you say most things with confidence.
Later, you will go to the bathroom. You will pee. A lot later, you will go to the bathroom, and this time you will poop. After you poop you will see that your poop is a deep, deep blood red. This will alarm you. Your heart rate increases. You are freaking OUT!
something is WRONG WITH MY BODY TO MAKE MY FECES RED (AND SO DEEP A HUE!)
You will remember those beets. Those beets in the veggie burger. The veggie burger you ate.
It’s just the beets.
The beets in the veggie burger made your poop look like this.
And tonight. If I don’t see you tonight at These Thirty Plays perhaps I will hear you: I will hear your sigh of relief.