June 22 – 23, 2022


deep cut at the end of the universe.









“wake up. eat. sleep. battle of the bands. repeat.”

One Night Only!

Thick Piss, Bat Boy’s Dream, Breadmath, Redacted Field Recordings, the Corporate Time Sheets, Magical Aristotelian Gentry, Martin and the Luthers, Jobs, Careers, Professions, Trades, Occupations, 2corder, Aerodactyl, The Audience, The Hans Zimmer 5, Tremendous Potential, The Descendants of Boethius, Bapt Boy’s Dream, Sock Rates, g l o b a l i z a t i o n, Automation Nation, Tiny Pots & Pans Band, Shy City, The Jocks, Masterclass of Ignorance, The Combos, Regnir, The Robot, Skippy Jiff, Flute Loops!, 2 sad Nicks, The Vollmers, Kurt Chiang in Dante Rene’s Review of Dominic Paris’s SPLITZ circa 1984,The Plain White Keys, The Amirites, MIMES, Caucasia, Dav and the City Council, Dav and the MIDI Council, BNFS LLC, banana vanity project, B.I.R.D.S., Shyguy, Larger Pots & Pans Band, one adult, 2phonium, Korg Boys, They Might Not be Giants, The Black Plaid, the dissolving weathermen, the Robot 2.0, the Dakota, Fanning, The Cure, The Severed Heads, the creaks, triple brain enoch, the anti dolphin society of america, Heavy Incident,





p r e p a r e


Dear Bands,

Merriam Webster defines battle as an extended contest, struggle, or controversy, and we do too. That’s why we’re asking you to test your talents in our first and only BATTLE OF THE BANDS (sponsored by CARS WORLD).


f o r


First you need:


A band (for example, bass, drums, tambourine. Or for example, three banjos. Or for example, a pot of chili and a microphone)

If you need a bass player, here’s how to ask:


Bass Player needed for “(BAND)” (CHICAGO’S ULTIMATE!) ( TRIBUTE EXPERIENCE We have Up coming shows starting on (day of battle) July 2021 (tortillas predate bread by some number of years) “must have equipment, transportation, & positive attitude! Must be familiar with (BATTLE) Material, Professionals Only! Contact (Charles Bernard “two buck chuck” Shaw) by fax or Email (iwanttobattle@yahoo.com) Thank You


h u m i l i a t i o n


^^Is an example of how you might find a bassist for our battle of the bands (extended contest, struggle, or controversy of the bands). And we hope you do!


You also might need:


Several months of private or group music lessons

Some amount of unfulfilled desire, or unexpressed anger

Gas money

Temporary tattoos

A mini van

d e t e r m i n a t i o n


Prizes include:

$25 iTunes gift card (one per band max)

1 car, courtesy of CARS WORLD (divided equally amongst all band members; soloists not eligible)


e l e v a t i o n


There will be snacks, including unlimited gold fish (the kind in the big milk carton thingy) and orange slices (previously sliced only).





City Council


Merriam Webster defines a car as:


car (noun)

\ ˈkär  , dialectal also ˈkȯr, ˈkyär \

Definition of car (Entry 1 of 2)

1: a vehicle moving on wheels: such as


b: a vehicle designed to move on rails (as of a railroad) “The train has 20 cars”.

c: AUTOMOBILE “traveled to Boston by car”

2: the passenger compartment of an elevator

3: the part of an airship or balloon that carries the passengers and cargo


Merriam Webster defines a world as:

w o r l d (noun)

\ ˈwər(-ə)ld   \

Definition of world (Entry 1 of 2)

1: the earthly state of human existence

B:  life after death  —used with a qualifier

the next world

2 : the earth with its inhabitants and all things upon it

3 : individual course of life : CAREER

4 : the inhabitants of the earth : the human race

5 : the concerns of the earth and its affairs as distinguished from heaven and the life to come


W E L C O M E  T O  C A R S  W O R L D


We’ve got:

Fast cars

Big cars

Red cars

Bright cars

Little cars

Compact cars

Shiny cars

Dirty cars

Used cars

New cars

Double decker cars

Go kart cars

Elevator cars

Flintstone cars

Toyota cars

Wooden cars

Cadilacs, we got fuckin caddies baby.

Steel cars

Train cars

Diner cars

Toy cars

Incredible cars!

Lightning McQueen cars

1999 Toyota Corolla cars

Commercial cars

Ice cream cars

Oscar wienermobile cars

Cars that will bring you so much joy

Peaceful cars

Truly cars


Cars for your pets


Rubber cars

Plastic cars

Slimy cars

Ultimate cars

Eww! Stinky Cars!

Cars for your cars

Bike cars

Train cars

Carp cars

Medieval cars

Big Bold Audacious C-A-R-S

Horse cars

Drama cars

5 lb cars

10 lb cars

20 lb cars

snack cars

Snake cars

Plumbing cars

Long cars

Water cars

Advertising cars

Cars from ‘Pimp My Ride’ that still work

Special occasion cars

Nonfunctional cars

1-877-kars-4-kids, K-A-R-S kars for kids

Baby cars

Horror cars

Really fucking normal cars

That car that someone covered in plastic dinosaurs and shiny rocks

Hoop dreams

Cars from the Movies

Cars from the Future

Cars you haven’t, probably, like, ever even heard of!

Romance cars

International cars

LGBTQ+ cars

Ally Cars

Fun with the whole family cars

Just Nice Cars

Jay Leno’s Entire Garage

Chartreuse cars

Clown Cars (Clowns Included)

Clown cars (clowns not included)

Cow cars (for cows)

Cow cars (for humans, chauffeuring cows)

Herby Cars

Derby Cars

Herbie from Herbie fully loaded

Carcinogen Cars


Cars for just you and your boys

Transformer Cars

Cars with Horsepowers

H a r d y  B o y s  C a r s

Cars made out of people; Flesh Cars

Cars with the Radio Stolen

Cars with no honker (Quiet Cars)

Cars with dubious gas mileage

Cars with no carburetor (what even is that)

Rick Flair Limousine Ridin’ Cars

Trucks that are cars

If Sonic the Hedgehog is a car, we have that car.

Your mom’s old Honda CRV that you took to college

Your mom and stepdad’s matching gold volvo cars

Your ex’s sedan that you  left some bananas in during a summer camping trip, Forever eliminating its new car smell

The car you drove to the beach with your first boyfriend and decided you did not want to give him a blowjob in

Suspicious cars

Getaway cars

Car chase cars

Real Quality cars

Big Nasty Cars

At least 50 cars!

More cars than you can carry

Incredible savings



Mobile, Alabama

Le chevre-let

That station wagon that was like a block long

PT Cruisers (Custom)

Blue VW buggy (pre emissions scandal)

Bam Margera’s Lambo

NASA Space Cars

That car Michael Jackson danced the windows off

the art of the sublimewire // rELEASED may 7

this album] mustard and ketchup dog treats be movie review like it or not the world market series’ peanut butter cup of poker i hardly know hermes van der rohe, it’s it musty embrace yourself for impacted wisdominatrix teeth.

Let’s explore 7 steps that you can take to learn how to transform your fan base

  1. Step 1 – Change Your Belief Or Mindset. …
  2. Step 2 – Make A Decision And Commit. …
  3. Step 3 – Take Action. …
  4. Step 4 – Achieve Results. …
  5. Step 5 – Be Consistent. …
  6. Step 6 – Change Your Identity. …
  7. Step 7 – Commit To Mastery.


  1. Move 2 spaces up:h(x) = 1/x + 2.
    1. Sidewalk squares, apartments, cities, continents (this is expensive), mindsets
  2. Move 3 spaces down:h(x) = 1/x − 3.
    1. Break it into smaller chunks, move a banana from your mouth to your butthole (that’s probably 3 spaces)
  3. Move 4 spaces right:h(x) = 1/(x−4) graph.
    1. Even smaller chunks, or if you’re going big or going home, move continents four times and see where you end up
  4. Move 5 spaces left:h(x) = 1/(x+5)
    1. You may end up where you started
  5. Stretch it by 2 in the y-direction:h(x) = 2/x.
    1. Elastic, your tongue, your beliefs. Try to avoid overstretching your moral compass or your wallet
  6. Compress it by 3 in the x-direction:h(x) = 1/(3x)
    1. Do not wear pants that are too small in the knees or in the crotch area. Genitalia is sensitive. Do not (also) wear shoes that are too small, even if you are trying to get married.
  7. Flip it upside down:h(x) = −1/x.
    1. You may end up where you started. You may not. Neither is preferable, just try to breath.





The Art of the Sublimewire is the mythologization of the impact of Tony and cyberspace on human experiences of time, space and power. It is a musical conception of the awe and terror that captivate the collective conscience with the emergence of {these new technologies} and the promises and predictions that flow from it. These can be either {utopian or dystopian} depending on the individual’s interpretation of their emotional response. Tortillas predate bread by 1000 years.


Please see the graphs below:

Map of the Gnutella network (hosted LimeWire)

u  c a t s  e v e r w a t c h f u l l m e t a l a l c h e m i s t

Ya it was so fucked when that dog died/got turned into a PERSON

Y a  w t f  t h a t  s h i t  w a s  o u t  o f   c o n t r o l

W h e n  i  w a s  13  i  d o w n l o a d e d  5  d e a t h  c a b  f o r  c u t i e  s o n g s  o f f

l i m e w i r e  a n d  l i s t e n e d  t o  t h e m  o n   r e p e a t f o r l i k e  f o u r h o u r s  w h i l e  p l a y i n g  a  s i c k  a f s n o w b o a r d i n g  f l a s h  g a m e   o n  b o n u s g a m e s . c o m

M A S T E R C L A S S D O T C O M // released april 2

In 1884, William Thomson, 1st Baron Kelvin, delivered twenty lectures on molecular dynamics and the wave theory of light.[3] Kargon wrote (page 2):

The sessions, which were held in a small lecture hall, were conducted as “master classes”. The tone was conversational and informal; Kelvin made almost no use of notes … Usually Kelvin lectured from one of these standpoints, then engaged the audience in a discussion of the details, then shifted to another of the standpoints for the second part of the lecture. On page one Kargon explained, “The attendees were expected to have advanced knowledge of physics and mathematics. Among them were British physicists Lord Rayleigh and George Forbes; Professors Kikuchi and Fujioka of Japan; American instructors in physics from eastern and western colleges, including Albert Michelson and Edward Morley; attendees from Canada, Germany, and Russia; and Hopkins faculty and students including Rowland, Thomas Craig, Fabian Franklin, Henry Crew, Gustav Liebig, Joseph Sweetman Ames, and Christine Ladd Franklin.”

A record of the twenty classes was made by A. S. Hathaway and circulated afterwards using papyrograph stencil duplication. It is these notes that were reproduced in 1987 for the publication sponsored by Johns Hopkins Center for the History and Philosophy of Science. In fact Hathaway continued to correspond with Kelvin, who supplemented the notes, and the “Lectures” were eventually broadly circulated in 1904.[4]

you have to know at the outset they bill annually they say $15 a month but its really $180 one time it’s super important you know that before you put in your credit card info or you can just ask a friend to torrent it for you honestly its prolly not worth the 180 but also there are a lot of masterclasses that teach creativity which would honestly be really helpful


Say you want to learn to write.  Write a book.  Write a movie.  Write a play. Write an email.  Write a law.  “Cut!” Oh, wanna learn to right things? Negotiate the right paycheck? Make dinner just the right way.  Do the right thing.  Fine.


“Would anyone be willing to share a guest pass? Thank you!”

Dramatic cut to:

“I purchased masterclass 1-1 subscription, but I need to ask for a refund since I do not have time to watch some videos now. I sent another subscription to my friend, but I want to know what happens to my friend’s account if I ask for a refund.”



MasterClass is not accredited with, and has a failing grade from, the Better Business Bureau. Everything. Is a negotiation.


“I’m told people are signing up in droves (a car made in the 30’s) for my MasterClass in {BREAD}. For the aspiring writer, comedian, or future world leader.”

  • Steve Martin


“My MasterClass in now live! So proud to be able to share everything I know about {BAT BOY} with you.”

  • Armin Van Buuren


*Black title with “MUSIC PASS” in big bold white letters.*

“I love Carlos Santana and would greatly appreciate a guess pass just to check it out. Thanks in advance.”


“If my {BOWEL BUCKS} aren’t enough for you, I’ve done a really fun {PISS PENNIES) seminar! @masterclass”

  • The Pirate Bay


“Every deal is different.” Three years ago, the Hollywood Reporter said that most MasterClass instructors get at least $100,000 up front and a share of at least 30% of revenue. Recruiting the first instructors was challenging but Rogier says he now turns away nine out of 10 people who want to offer courses.


How do we make the world’s best classes?

We start with the world’s best team:

Hans Zimmer



Jesus Christ

Sourdough Starter

Andrew Dice Clay

Emeril Lagasse

Luigi Russolo


Acoustic Guitar

The Ocean

Andrew Tham

a n d  m o r e ! ! ! ! !

What are you interested in?

How do you like to learn?

When do you like to learn?

What devices do you use to learn on?

We think you’ll love the

Annual Membership

  • Learn across a variety of topics from today’s best across many categories
  • Exclusive access to our video, audio, and workbook library
  • Make the most of your time with bite-sized lessons or deep dives
  • Available across multiple devices including Web, AppleTV, or mobile


*Hans Zimmer boom. David Mamet pause.*


“Is there anyone who can share with me guest pass, I am really keen to learn new skills on Materclass*.


Appreciate if anyone who can share.”


*Quick fade to black.  Quick fade up.*



WHo are today’s best? We’re talking, the MVPs, the literally most exceptional humans the world has to offer today. The people who know the most and do it with the most skill and have the very fastest ones. You are not one of these people. If you were one of these people you would have woken up earlier and eaten expensive salmon on the treadmill  while reading SIX  newspapers  and not throwing up because today’s best do not throw up. Todays best are the elite, the only ones who matter, you are just a lowly peon, a first class loser and the ONLY way to do anything about that is to watch the world’s best and try to imitate them. Will you be as imitation crab is  to REAL ASS CRAB? Will you BECOME REAL ASS CRAB? Can you live up  to the challenge? Will watching four hours of composition classes from an old guy change your life forever, forging you in new and exciting directions from the comfort of your own home? no. but you

The self is only a threshold, a door, a becoming between two multiplicities // released march 5



“I am alone and miserable. Only someone as ugly as I am could love me.”― Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

Despite the pre-twentieth-century use of collage-like application techniques, some art authorities argue that collage, properly speaking, did not emerge until after 1900, in conjunction with the early stages of modernism.  ― Mark King, Taco Bell CEO, circa 2019 

“Sunshine is delicious…”  –John Ruskin


What do I see slurrying around that Gidget (February 7, 1994 – July 21, 2009), nicknamed the “Taco Bell Chihuahua?



Ah! that which I hear, was it the Baja Blast Freeze® that screeches in the night, or the crunched one who utters a sigh on the spork of the Fresh Food Place?


Was it some cricket who sings lurking in the moss and the sterile iceberg lettuce, which out of pity covers the 88 Percent Beef?


Was it some fly in chase sounding the h(c)orn around those ears deaf to the 30 second hold fanfare of the Quesaquitonitarita Supreme?


Was it some Scarab Wrap Beetle-rito Supreme who gathers in his uneven flight a bloody Diablo Sauce hair from his bald common meal?


Or then, was it some spiderlocomoléwrapadilla who embroiders a half-measure of Baja Blast®  for a tie on this strangled neck****?



It is the TACO bell* (Hello Taco Bell®) that tolls from the walls of a city, outside the bun, and the Crunchadilla** Corpse of the hanged one that is reddened by the Fire Sauce of the setting sun.


*The Bell Beefer was a hamburger bun based meal on Taco Bell’s menu from the mid 1970’s to the mid 1990’s as an update to the Bellburger. Created to combat items offered at hamburger chains, the Bell Beefer was a bun*** with meat, diced onions, shredded lettuce and mild border sauce. A Bell Beefer Supreme was also offered which added diced tomatoes and grated cheese. More like a Sloppy Joe than a hamburger, it was well-liked early on but declined in popularity during the late 1980’s.


Because combination KFC/Taco Bells carry hamburger buns, one is often able to order a replica Bell Beefer “off menu” if you ask the cashier nicely and explain to the line workers how it is assembled.


** Taco Bell has attempted to enter the Mexican market twice. After a highly publicised launch in Mexico City in 1992, all the restaurants were closed two years later. In September 2007, Taco Bell returned to Monterrey, projecting an American image with an Americanized menu that included french fries, but it closed in January 2010 due to low patronage.


***Tortillas predate bread by 2000 years. 


****Other discontinued items include: Enchirito (name revived for a different menu item); Taco Lite; Taco Grande; Chilito (Chili Cheese Burrito); Beefy Crunch Burrito; Beefy Melt Burrito; Seafood Salad; Chicken Fiesta Burrito; Potatorito; Volcano Taco; BLT Taco; Cheesarito; Cinnamon Crispas; Nacho Crunch Grilled Stuft Burrito; Chicken Caesar Grilled Stuft Burrito; Grilled Stuft Nacho; Fully Loaded Nachos; Spicy Chicken Crunchwrap Supreme; Blackjack Taco; Bean Burrito Especial; Border Ices; and the Meximelt.[101]

Candelabracadabra, the Mega-nagerie // RELEASED Feb 5

*water sounds*



This document is the ultimate authority for Candelabracadabra, the Mega-nagerie® competitive game play. It consists of a series of numbered rules followed by a glossary. Many of the numbered rules are divided into subrules, and each separate rule and subrule of the game has its own number. (Note that subrules skip the letters “l” and “o” due to potential confusion with the numbers “1” and “0”; subrule 704.5k is followed by 704.5m, then 704.5n, then 704.5p, for example.)

Game theory is the study of mathematical models of strategic interaction among rational decision-makers.[1] It has applications in all fields of social science, as well as in logic, systems science and computer science. Originally, it addressed zero-sum games, in which each participant’s gains or losses are exactly balanced by those of the other participants. In the 21st century, game theory applies to a wide range of behavioral relations, and is now an

umbrella term for the science of logical decision making in humans, animals, and computers.

A player is one of the people in the game. The active player is the player whose turn it is. The other players are nonactive players.

The only numbers the Candelabracadabra game uses are integers.

There are five colors of mana: white, blue, black, red, and green.

If a spell or ability would create a token, but a rule or effect states that a permanent with one or more of that token’s characteristics can’t enter the battlefield, the token is not created.

Any object can deal damage.

Damage is processed in a four-part sequence.

If a source would deal 0 damage, it does not deal damage at all. That means abilities that trigger on damage being dealt won’t trigger. It also means that replacement effects that would increase the damage dealt by that source, or would have that source deal that damage to a different object or player, have no event to replace, so they have no effect.

The name of a card is printed on its upper left corner.

A card’s name is always considered to be the English version of its name, regardless of printed language.

Two objects have the same name if their names are identical. An object with no name doesn’t have the same name as any other object, including another object with no name.

If an object has more than one name, it has the same name as another object if there are one or more names that both objects have in common.

Two or more objects have different names only if each of them has at least one name and no two objects in that group have the same name.

Creatures and tribals share their lists of subtypes; these subtypes are called creature types. The creature types are Advisor, Aetherborn, Ally, Angel, Antelope, Ape, Archer, Archon, Army, Artificer, Assassin, Assembly-Worker, Atog, Aurochs, Avatar, Azra, Badger, Barbarian, Basilisk, Bat, Bear, Beast, Beeble, Berserker, Bird, Blinkmoth, Boar, Bridget, Bringer, Brushwagg, Camarid, Camel, Caribou, Carrier, Cat, Centaur, Cephalid, Chimera, Citizen, Cleric, Cockatrice, Construct, Coward, Crab, Crocodile, Cyclops, Dauthi, Demigod, Demon, Deserter, Devil, Dinosaur, Djinn, D O G,, Dragon, Drake, Dreadnought, Drone, Druid, Dryad, Dwarf, Efreet, Egg, Elder, Eldrazi, Elemental, Elephant, Elf, Elk, Eye, Faerie, Ferret, Fish, Flagbearer, Fox, Frog, Fungus, Gargoyle, Germ, Giant, Gnome, Goat, Gooblin, God, Golem, Gorgon, Graveborn, Gremlin, Griffin, Hag, Harpy, Hellion, Hippo, Hippogriff, Homarid, Homunculus, Horror, Horse, Human, HYDRA, Hyena, Illusion, Imp, Incarnation, Insect, Jackal, Jellyfish, Juggernaut, Kavu, Kirin, Kithkin, Knight, Kobold, Kor, Kraken, Lamia, Lammasu, Leech, Leviathan, Lhurgoyf, Licid, Lizard, Manticore, Masticore, Mercenary, Merfolk, Metathran, Minion, Minotaur, Mole, Monger, Mongoose, Monk, Monkey, Moonfolk, Mouse, Mutant, Myr, Mystic, Naga, Nautilus, Nephilim, Nightmare, Nightstalker, Ninja, Noble, Noggle, Nomad, Nymph, Octopus, Ogre, Ooze, Orb, Orc, Orgg, Otter, Ouphe, Ox, Oyster, Pangolin, Peasant, Pegasus, Pentavite, Pest, Phelddagrif, Phoenix, Pilot, Pincher, Pirate, Plant, Praetor, Prism, Processor, Rabbit, Rat, Rebel, Reflection, Rhino, Rigger, Rogue, Sable, Salamander, Samurai, Sand, Saproling, Satyr, Scarecrow, Scion, Scorpio, Scout, Sculpture, Serf, Serpent, Servo, Shade, Shaman, Shapeshifter, Shark, Sheep, Siren, Skeleton, Slith, Sliver, Slug, Snake, Soldier, Soltari, Spawn, Specter, Spellshaper, Sphinx, Spider, Spike, Spirit, Splinter, Sponge, Squid, Squirrel, Starfish, Surrakar, Survivor, Tentacle, Tetravite, Thalakos, Thopter, Thrull, Treefolk, Trilobite, Triskelavite, Troll, Turtle, Unicorn, Vampire, Vedalken, Viashino, Volver, Wall, Warlock, Warrior, Weird, Werewolf, Whale, Wizard, Wolf, Wolverine, Wombat, Worm, Wraith, Wurm, Yeti, Zombie, and Zubera.



  • What does the 🦐 mean?


  • A classic hourglass, all of its sand having flowed into the bottom bulb.
  • What does the 🦐 mean?
  • A classic hourglass, all of its sand having flowed into the bottom bulb.



SCRYE (Scrye Collectible Card Game Checklist and Price Guide) was a gaming magazine published from 1994 to April 2009 by Scrye, Inc.[1][2] It was the longest-running periodical to have reported on the collectible card game hobby. It was also the leading print resource for secondary-market prices on Magic: The Gathering. The name, a registered trademark, is adapted from the Middle English word scry meaning “to foretell the future through a suitable medium”.




On January 29, 2009, the magazine’s publisher sent an email to staff and contributors of SCRYE announcing their intent to cease publication of the magazine after the April 2009 edition, the magazine’s 131st regular issue. In that issue, the magazine’s editors suggested that the decision to cease publication was due, at least in part, to financial problems resulting from the economic crisis in the United States: “The reason behind this decision should come as no surprise to anyone who’s been paying attention to recent events, both within our hobby and in the world in general…as things stand, we cannot continue to publish the magazine profitably while still providing the level of quality entertainment and information that you, our readers, need and deserve in exchange for your money.


Trample (This creature can deal excess combat damage to player or planeswalker it’s attacking.)




W e l c o m e

Hey there and welcome to my site. As you can see there’s a lot to explore, but if you’re looking for names you’re at the right place.

There are over 1400 name generators, as well as many description generators, guides and various tools you might find helpful. But if you have an idea for what I could add or if you want to submit a name, message or other feedback feel free to contact me.


– Emily


“Krill do not leave the puddle as the puddle phase ends.” -Randy


What is the mega-nagerie?

It’s everything


Horsemanship (This creature can’t be blocked except by creatures with horsemanship.)


Aw, using an adblocker?

(or the ad didn’t load)

I work very hard on this site and I’d love it if you’d support me by whitelisting my site in your adblocker. It’d help and mean a lot.


– Emily


What is the mega-nagerie?

It’s everything


S t i l l  b u s y

Life’s still got me pretty preoccupied, but I think I’ll be able to continue to add new content now, albeit slower than usual.

Deathtouch (Any amount of damage this deals to a creature is enough to destroy it.)

Responding to messages hasn’t changed, I continue to be able to do so. ^.^


– Emily


What is the mega-nagerie?

It’s everything


A universe where “sisters stick together.”


Cast spells that will leave your foes grasping for a cigarette.


So travels the Eternal Passing, from Mawth to Anoos.



*water sounds*



Join the community to add your comment.


– Emily

Plato‘s Republic: Magnets, Landed Gentry, Dreams // RELEASED Jan 8

Plato’s Republic: Magnets, Landed Gentry, Dreams is a masterwork. It was written [0 years ago] and remains one of the most widely listened-to audio books in the bandcamp universe, famous for both the r i c h n e s s of its ideas and the v i r t u o s i t y of its writing. Presented as a dialogue between person A, person B, Nick, Nick, Lia, Joanna, Andrew, Bat Boy and you, the audience, some people, andvarious interlocutors, it is an exhortation (sic) to study magnets, dreams, and landed gentry, inviting its listeners to reflect on the choices we must make if we are to live the best life available to us. This complexxx, didactic, intere-sting and exciting work creates a picture of an ideal society governed not by power, or fame, or anyone’s well-connected c o u s i n, but by magnets (what are they), the landed gentry, and dreams. Also, tortillas predate bread by over 1,000 years*.

For more than seventy eons, person A, person B, Nick, Nick, Lia, Joanna, Andrew, Bat Boy** and you, the audience, has been the leading publisher (sic) of the coolest biggest most landed literature in the English-speaking dreamworld. Dang. With more than 1,700 acres of titles, person A, person B, Nick, Nick, Lia, Joanna, Andrew, and you, the audience, represent the earth’s core of the best works throughout history and across gentries and disciplines. Readers trust the series to provide “the scoop” enhanced by poems and REM sleep by disintegrated scholars and contemporary farmers, as well as up-to-date translations by award-winning transatlantic.


*multiply THAT
**multiply THAT
***Bowel Bucks

Track 2 Dedicated to Tiffany Wang, a true hero.
Track 6 Dedicated to M.C. Steffen, a true hero.
Track 9 Dedicated to Amanda Hodo, a true hero.
Track 11 Dedicated to Rachel Gonzalez, a true hero.
Track 12 Dedicated to Kristen Jamerson, a true hero.
Track 24 Dedicated to Maxwell Fritz, a true hero.
The part of Track 41 where I steal the dreamelodica,
Dedicated to Santa Claus, a true hero.
The part of Track 41 where I talk, Dedicated to Bucky O’hare, a true hero.


Finding humanity in the most inhumane parts of our lives.









Caught on Tape! The (Other?) Library of CONgress Audio Archive They Don’t Want You To Hear! (00XXX0007 will eat your socks off!!) // RELEASED nov 6

This vast collection of mind-shattering sounds of so-called“pseudo” recordings that the FBI has had hidden away for decades, will open your third eye and separate you from the rest of thesheeple on this flat earth. Mermaids are real. Think for yourself question authority[REDACTED] observed on November [REDACTED] 20[RECACTED] a “large lizard-like [REDACTED]” that ate [REDACTED} off.” Don’t hesitate, don’t look back. The TRUTH is out there! Carefully recovered by a group of expert ethnomusicologists, these never-before-released recordings break this case WIDE open.  Bat Boy is a fictional creature who made numerous appearances in the American supermarket tabloid Weekly World News. The Weekly World News published patently fabricated stories that were purported to be factual. Within the pages of the paper, Bat Boy is described as a creature who is ‘half human and half bat’. This album is a collection of field recordings, found audio, and musical extrapolations investigating the unknown, the hidden, and most of all, the FORGOTTEN creatures *like bat boy* who haunt the night……….and your DREAMS.

Caught on Tape! The (Other?) Library of CONgress Audio Archive They Don’t Want You To Hear! (#00XXX0007 will eat your socks off!!) is the cassette your great aunt Linda stashed away in the attic after her and her friends bought that ouija board and started playing it in the butterfly garden. LINDA WHAT THE FUCK.Caught on Tape! The (Other?) Library of CONgress Audio Archive They Don’t Want You To Hear! (#00XXX0007 will eat your socks off!!) is FULL of anecdotes from demons.Caught on Tape! The (Other?) Library of CONgress Audio Archive They Don’t Want You To Hear! (#00XXX0007 will eat your socks off!!) GET INTO IT.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cryptids What’s that sound? It’s definitely not a house cat. Our platform: if you can imagine it, it’s real (and it makes a sound). Protect yourself and your loved ones by learning to identify these fantastic creatures by ear. Detractors will say that we’re conspiracy theorists but these recordings are REAL. The U.S. Government has been keeping IMPORTANT information from you for DECADES. This archive of animal sounds whose existence is “unsubstantiated” It is curious to note that what the world hasn’t seen yet is to be uncovered by the eyes of the truth seers who want them. What a people consider “normal” or “usual” is often overlooked; the trees have branches and those branches contain many twigs and leaves unbeknownst to the nude eye.  “Hm? That sound over there? Don’t look over your shoulder, it’s nothing, son.” Mothers can be so deceiving but what they don’t realize is that your ears have been sharp since birth, hungry for the cries of the unknown.  Well, truth is stranger than friction I guess but you’ll have to take your own word for it, no? Get a glimpse into what lies beyond the vista, shrouded in il mistero. Oh, and another thing? Don’t blink too much. 😉

“an animal whose existence is unsubstantiated”  “terrifying paranormal encounters that have shaken them to their core” Winged Freak Terrorizes

Breadtasia  // released oct 2 

Breadtasia, is an explosive, epic hour-long album of 60 songs in 60 minutes produced by The Neo-Futurists, all made for the ears of bread. One of the most flour-forward, gluten-positive releases in recent human history, Breadtasia serves its listener loaf after loaf of freshly baked soundscapes.  Running the germinated gamut from airy, to moldy, to soft, to roof-of-mouth-cuttingly sharp, this unique record is loaded with dynamics of fragrance and texture.  A delicious listen from heel to butt. Kick back as we make your spirits rise with our warmth.

Artistic Team

Artistic Team