The Miss Neo Pageant: Meet Miss Unbridled Rage

Name: Jessica Anne

Hometown: Nope.

Age: 31

Education: I got a BA in English, and currently I’m working on an MFA in creative writing.

Platform Issue: Empowering victims of sexual abuse to speak publicly, creatively, and often. How can we take the taboo out of “another rape monologue?”

Talent: writing

Career Ambition: Armed with an MFA and the book I haven’t started yet, I’d like to teach at the college level.

Local Competition Sponsor: T Salon & Gallery

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The Miss Neo Pageant Personal Interview

Q: How do you measure success?

With my dress size. I’m a 4.

Q: When is the last time you failed? How did you handle it?

Yesterday I ate a chocolate chip cookie at work. But, balanced it out with a glass of water and some ex-lax.

Q: What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Adult acne.

Q: How are you different from the other contestants?

I have the most body fat.

Q: Why do you want to win this pageant?

Who said I wanted to win? I’m just hoping to make it out alive.

Tickets for the Miss Neo Pageant are available online. Come watch Miss Unbridled Rage get dirt in her skirt this summer.

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