Best-Of Too Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind 2012: Week One

something you should know, before we let this ship out of the port:

I haven’t posted to this blog since probably 2010. i haven’t used Blogger in ages. Between the years 2005 and 2010, I kept a rather steady and predominantly melancholy blog. Had I had the luxury of Blogger during my teen years, perhaps I would have worked the interest from my system then. I was at least savvy enough during my teen years to know the shame of Live Journal such as to avoid it. I saved my internet bemoaning for a similarly teenage time in my life, my early twenties, when I was freshly relocated to Chicago from rurally urban Alabama to pursue life as a comedic genius. But things never go so smoothly as they do in your mind when it is dreaming, and I became more a genius of making one bad choice after another after another at someone or another’s apartment on any given night of the week and still making it to third floor of Columbia College Chicago the next morning because if you didn’t, you would fail with no questions asked and I had already basically failed out of college once. The physical and emotional stress of this lifestyle begged a blog, a quadrant of the internet in which to establish a writerly voice that, in my case, I can only liken to a fat Fiona Apple meets Ramona Quimby. From this meandering identity crisis, Rubberneck Whiplash was born and has since been retired in its original form.

I changed the name of THAT blog to something different and hid it in the Blogger dashboard, something I rarely remember until I do something like log into Blogger (as I just did). Rubberneck Whiplash was reborn sometime in late 2010–i’m just making up dates now–as a Tumblr, which I find to be much more visual appealing even in the most pathetic of moods. This isn’t some shameless plug for the virtual mattress on the floor where I rest my weary and nappy creative head. I rarely update that thing. Not since I downloaded Instagram, anyway. This is not not because I don’t maintain my immovable sense of self-importance, I just don’t have much to say right now that can’t be reduced to a Tweet. Or I’m tired and more lazy. Or I’m actually fairly content and would rather be out in the world doing something than sitting on the couch eating a bowl of popcorn for dinner and diarrhea-ing from my fingers about the world i’m actively avoiding. I’m an Artistic Director of The Neo-Futurists now, and at least two to three times a week, my boyfriend takes me out for a real meal. Of actual food. So as you can see, I don’t have much worth Bloggering about anymore.

And this isn’t about me, but really these blogs are always about the people who write them. But really, this is mostly about about the beloved Neo-Futurist “firneds” performing this weekend:

  • Brenda Arellano
  • Lisa Buscani
  • Kurt Chiang
  • Bilal Dardai
  • Trevor Dawkins
  • Tif Harrison
  • Jay Torrence
  • Malic White
  • and our technician, the moxie Rachel Staelens
(both Tif and Rachel I have known SINCE my days on the 3rd Floor of the Columbia Theater building or, truer still, the loading dock in the alley next to 72 E. 11th Street. those ladies could tell you things that would get me arrested.)

It also wouldn’t be a celebration if we didn’t give a standing ovation to our beloved Neo-Futurists who left the active ensemble this year to tackle the next stage of creative opportunities in their lives:

  • Jessica Anne (graduate school at Roosevelt University)
  • Mary Fons (Editor in Chief of her own magazine, Quilty)
  • Caitlin Stainken (graduate school at the University of Montana – Missoula)
and honorary ensemble member, the best bunny rabbit who ever lived:
  • Mr. Sneaks (death)
Mr. Sneaks was the beloved pet of Caitlin Stainken, who we are terribly sad to report passed away on November 23rd, 2012 in Missoula, Montana. He was 7 years old. 

In honor of my return to very brief and awkward visit home to Blogger, Mr. Sneaks, and The Neo-Futurists’ 24th birthday on December 2nd, 2012, it is my pleasure to announce the first weekend of a years’ worth of unrivaled spectacle, our best plays of the year, brought to you by the ferociously talented aforementioned.

And now without further adieu…

1. beat-beat, knock-knock (megan mercier)
2. marketing the metaphorical tit (tif harrison)
3. maybe there are better places (trevor dawkins)
4. The Nation Responds to Anderson Cooper’s Coming Out (tif harrison)
5. Peter Panic (malic white)
6. Communication for Starters (jay torrence)
7. Trevor Dawkins IS Trevor Dawkins in “Trevor Dawkins – RIDEALONG (bilal dardai)
8. Funeral for a Chicken: a melodrama loosely based on the Skype discussion i had with my sister, who recently ate Chik-Fil-A (megan mercier)
9. Blind Date: You Don’t Have To Do It ‘Cause We’re Doing It For You! (malic white)
10. I left my keys in my apartment (Amplified) (trevor dawkins)
11. En Amitié (lisa buscani)
12. a girl and the ghosts (tif harrison)
13. Tim Meadows’ Soda Can! (tif harrison)
14. Another Bloody Weekend (lisa buscani)
15. Find the Dong (megan mercier)
16. Soundbitten (bilal dardai)
17. Kool-Aid Man vs. Brick Wall (role reversal) (kurt chiang)
18. Fate, staged (kurt chiang)
19. Daydream Diorama (brenda arellano)
20. Perfect Sleeper (lisa buscani)
21. Too Much Light Kidz Show (jay torrence)
22. The Neo-Futurists Present Dr. Joseph Garcia’s Sign Language for Babies in Phrases You Are Unlikely to Teach to Your Babies (bilal dardai)
24. Real life sadness filtered through fake German performance art (trevor dawkins)
25. Drinking, and the Things About Friends… (kurt chiang)
26. newscrash (megan mercier)
27. You Are Listening to Chicago 60608, 60610, 60614, 60657… (brenda arellano)
28. Traditional Mexican Terror Tactic (brenda arellano)
29. Küssen Mir
30. Kurt Chiang attempts to get one step closer to having two things in common with NBA Basketball player Jeremy Lin; or, Practice Makes Perfect (kurt chiang)

now hurry to our website to pre-purchase tickets to any or all of our Best-Of Too Much Light shows!

most excitedly,

You can do this, too.

Interested in taking a class? Our ensemble members teach Neo-Futurism throughout the year at our home space in Chicago. We can also come to you. Find out more about enrollment, hiring teachers, and scholarships.